Hello friends! I didn't know how to approach this post, but I want to be as open as possible on this blog about my life considering it is a lifestyle blog. But basically, I want to update you lovely people on my relationship with Tyler since I haven't discussed it much in a little while.
When Tyler and I first hung out as friends by ourselves, we got some Subway for lunch and took a long walk in the park. On this walk, I opened up about my biggest fears and random tidbits about my life. We basically talked about anything and everything. That same night, after he dropped me back off at home, he messaged me and asked if I'd spend time with him again, but consider it a date the next go around. This was almost three years ago.
A lot happened in the nearly three years that we've been together. And this past Saturday, we went back to that same trail and reminisced on our past. We also talked about our present relationship with each other, and even our potential future together. But we ended up taking some photos along the way. I'm glad he decided to partake in a little photo shoot with me. He's actually pretty good at taking photos, so do enjoy his share of photos as well as mine through this post! His photos are all of the shots of me, in case you're curious.
One of the topics we spoke about was a rather recent incident that happened between us. I just find this story important, because I feel like it was a huge turning point for us. It's definitely an eye opening time for the both of us and we both learned a lot from it.
So a few months ago, roughly around late November, Tyler and I got ourselves into a bit of a rough spot. I always have loved him, and he's always loved me. But there's always been something missing in our relationship, and I deep down always knew it. I just wasn't sure what it was.
I of course won't go into detail about what the situation specifically was, because he and I have of course worked things out by now, but to sum up the underlying issue, Tyler felt this overwhelming pressure to have everything figured out in his life. He felt like he needed to know what path he was taking and who he would essentially be with through his journey. And I feel like a lot of young couples deal with this pressure at some point or another. So I didn't blame him and couldn't be upset with him for having his skeptical thoughts about our relationship. Like I mentioned, we both had love for each other (and still do, of course), but I even had my own feeling of something being absent in our relationship and I wasn't sure what it was. So I guess we both were mutually feeling a bit skeptical and concerned in our own ways.
One of the reasons that I had concerns in our relationship was that we rarely expressed disagreements. It's not like we ever wanted to fight. We both acknowledged that fighting isn't bad or anything, but we rarely even had any disagreements on anything. Which connects with Tyler's previous struggle to open up. You see, Tyler would originally keep qualms to himself in hopes that he could solve them himself. However, they eventually would build up and give him insane amounts of anxiety and doubt about our relationship. I've even struggled to open up, myself (and still do, sometimes). Tyler sometimes had/has to ask me a couple of times before I eventually tell him what's on my mind.
So one night, Tyler expressed to me that he had doubts about us and wasn't sure if we'd work out together. Somehow, I felt it coming. So I told him I'd give him space for a few days to a week, and we'd speak again in person at some point. So we planned on a Monday and I gave him the space that I felt he needed. Because no matter how hard the situation was, I wanted to show him respect and love that he still deserved. I just knew deep down that this was an internal issue inside himself that maybe he needed help solving. In this time not speaking to him, I realized what had been missing the entire time--communication.
So that rainy Monday night, I somehow felt optimistic about seeing him and speaking with him. I told him to just tell me every qualm, big or small. We spoke in my crowded car for roughly four to five hours. And he told me everything. Every worry, every thought. Just anything that came to his mind. And by 11:30, I had this overwhelming feeling to hold his hand. Because I wasn't mad at him. And I still had hopes that we could get past our own pressures and anxieties and just move forward. So we sat quietly for a little while until we finally held hands again. And it never felt better to hold his hand than in that moment.
I remember opening up to coworkers and close friends about my situation, being frustrated with him originally for questioning our relationship, but I knew as he opened up in the car that night that there was way more to it than just not wanting to be with me (which was my initial assumption). He told me he still loved me and just didn't know how to move forward. But, still holding hands, we both decided that we needed to just be open from then on. That we needed to communicate way more. I felt like I understood him way more just from that one conversation we had in the car. So we decided that, mutually, we would work together to move forward. And more importantly, that we both truly wanted to move forward. Together.
Now a days, we tell each other everything. We sometimes even bicker, but we usually drop that pretty quickly. We've just stopped sweating the small stuff and have mutually found comfort in each other. We even made a Sim family! We both just feel so much more security in our relationship now and we owe it all to our communication with each other and our love for one another. We often tell each other we miss each other (every day, embarrassingly...we miss each other a lot hehe). We just enjoy every moment of our company together and make the most of every chance we get to see each other.
It just feels amazing to stop stressing about having everything figured out and just enjoying the here and now with each other. We both feel so much happier and truly feel like the best of friends. Tyler always tells me how excited he feels about how strong we've grown, how he feels like we can get through anything now. And I absolutely agree.
Some people say that once you reach the three year mark, you truly know someone. And I feel like my situation with Tyler has been a blessing in disguise. It seemed so difficult to get through it when it actually happened, but building a new foundation of communication and trust has been the key to mutual happiness and comfort. I'm just truly thankful to have learned this lesson through experience and to only grow stronger from this. And I think it's important for everyone to know that there is hope in hardships.
I love you, bb.
Thank you folks for reading. What are some lessons you've learned through hardships?