Set a Goal That Scares You

Hello friends! I've been pushing through some residual burnout, I'd say. My goal is to get back into writing monthly blog posts, after being off track lately. And speaking of goals, today I'm wanting to talk about the bigger picture: setting 'scary' goals.

   Setting goals doesn't guarantee success. I'm not an all or nothing person, so that fear of failure isn't what I'm afraid of. It's the scale of the challenge. And in this case, the potential for re-injury. Yes, I'm talking about running (again).

   I signed up for some major races back in October and November. I won't lie and say I wasn't feeling discouraged through the month of December. And I might still be a little concerned about the cards I'm currently working with. But I've got my reasons. I can explain.

   One of the big challenges I took on last year was entering my first 50k trail race. I felt prepared for it mentally and physically, so I felt capable. While actually running the race, I rolled my ankle multiple times and ended up having to hike the majority of the race (around 22 miles was hiked, I'd say). Not the way I wanted things to go, but I wanted to at least say I finished as strong as I was able to, for the circumstances. I had some folks help wrap that area to ensure my ankle was stable enough to continue hiking, but I definitely had swelling and soreness. If you haven't read my story on what happened in full, I'll link my previous post here. That race is a major factor into why I consider my 2026 goals to be "scary". And like I said, I genuinely felt prepared for the 50k. I built up lots of time-on-feet and distance on the trails, whether its hiking, running, or a combination of the two. I also did some hill work (which, after doing that course, I know I'll need to do even more to prep for the next goals). But there were some things I hadn't realized I neglected to train. Regardless of the outcome, I finished the race and was already hungry for next year, at the chance of doing this stronger and better than before. I learned a lot, and I wanted to use that new knowledge in a longer training period.

​   So in November, I signed up for that same trail race, but double: I signed up for the 100k distance (a little over 60 miles). So in 5 months time (which was more like 10 months of training time when I first signed up), I'll be attempting this 100k. It's the same course, but two loops. Lots of climbs, lots of water crossings. Lots of chances to roll my ankles again. But we're not having it this time.

   Come end of November, early December, I was feeling fired up. I've got ten months to train, so let's get in there and strengthen up. I took on my first leg day post sign-up, and was feeling confident. Great music was playing, I was feeling strong. Next thing you know, I squat a little too heavy. The next few days, the lower back pain was prominent, putting a pause on the running.

   After a week's rest, I got back out there for some runs with buddies, and I was experiencing knee pain and (what I thought was) nerve pain climbing down my right leg. I took another week and a half or so of a break from running and strength training, doing more swimming and walking than anything. Went back into it, same issue ensued, but feeling even more severe. By this point it was the end of December and I've wasted a month of valuable training time. I knew something needed to change.

   At the start of January, I booked my first appointment with a sports medicine doctor. I shared my experience, how during my last run I felt a throbbing pain in my hip that eventually shot back down into my knee and foot. Again, primarily on that right side. I felt like I was oversharing, going into any detail that could've been relevant to my case. I injured my back in early December, I've had mostly knee pain, I don't know if this is nerve pain or what, and the hip pain was a new sensation that occurred before the worst of this happened. I felt a little embarrassed to be sharing so much, in case it wasn't relevant, but I don't know anything really. I'm not a professional, I don't know all the muscles, tissues, bones, etc. And I've had so many appointments with doctors that haven't gone well. So imagine my relief when my sports doctor was poking around and calling out tender/tight areas before I winced indicated I was feeling discomfort. For example, he was feeling around my right ankle and asked, "Did you get injured here recently?" And I was like "Yes! I rolled it multiple times during my ultra," because somehow I forgot to mention that. Overall, it just felt validating to have someone call out these problem areas (especially while, in this example, I forgot to tell him beforehand about that injury). He found multiple tight tissue spots along my right leg, from up in my hip, down into my knee, down around my ankle, and to the bottom of my foot. It was chaos. But we've been doing dry-needling in my hip over the course of a couple months, along with designated stretches for me to do daily.

     Another race I signed up for (same time that I signed up for this 100k) was a 12hr race. I ran Vernal Equinox 8 hour last year and went into it with horrible anxiety. The nerves made running feel 10x harder. So I signed up for the 12hr loop this time. 1 mile loop, as many times as you can loop it, for 12 hours. Same exact concept as the 8 hour, just some extra time available to me. I knew that if I was intending to sign up for a 100k in Fall 2026, that this would be an amazing practice run for overall time on feet. It would also potentially be a confidence booster and a redemption arc after last year's performance. Once again, scary goal, but big intentions. The intention is more than just the number of miles under my belt (although, that always is a major goal as is). But just growing as a runner, connecting more with myself, understanding what I'm capable of, and pushing beyond my comforts. The mindset game is what will help me grow, both in this ultrarunning sport and in all other facets of my life.

     I was not sure how my performance in this would be. I mean, guys, this race was even sooner than the other: March 28th (it's since passed). Less training time, balancing PT. I wasn't feeling confident. I hadn't attempted too many long distances since December, especially nothing over probably a half marathon. So what would running 12 hours look like? What would my goal be? When asked, I kept having 40-50 miles (optimistically) in my mind. Like with the state of my hip and ankles, that key word really was "optimistically". Subjective goal was to feel good, to have a better mindset than last year's 8hr race. And leading up to this year's event, things were ebbing and flowing. Some weeks things hurt, some weeks I felt generally pain-free. 

   Come March 28th, I was ready. As ready as I could be, anyway. I knew the mindset was priority number one. And with my doctor telling me that my running this wouldn't cause permanent damage to my body, might just backtrack a tad, I was feeling a bit more promising about this. I can handle bouts of pain, that's all part of the game. And knowing he had more confidence in me as well, I was feeling my fears slowly wash away. Not entirely, obviously, I mean 12hrs is still a scary goal! But that's the fun of it.

     When I started the race, I told my buddies (AKA the best crew ever) that I might ignore them when I passed by. Just for a little while. I knew I wanted to put the ear buds in, lock in like I would for a typical long run. Because I love a long run. I wanted to keep the spirits high, listen to beautiful music, and just get to work. I wanted to knock out as much mileage as possible without stopping, because I know how much I slow down once the body inevitably starts to ache. 

      I was a little worried that I went out too fast, since I saw myself with the front of the pack for a few laps there. But eventually, as these races go, people space out. And with other events going on simultaneously, there's less pressure comparing yourself with those around you (another thing to ease my mind, since I definitely can find myself comparing my progress during a race). But loop after loop, I really was collecting mileage, and fast. I didn't want to begin any walk/run intervals until I needed to. So I kept a pace that felt nice, and honestly with the cold weather we had that day, any pace felt amazing (I love cold weather running). I kept looping, waving to my buddies, and occasionally asking them to refill one of my bladders on my vest.

     First hiccup happened around mile 14. Took a typical step, and felt that shock down my leg. Same sensation I felt back in December that lead me to seeing a PT in the first place. I was rattled, to be honest. My inner voice was asking is this it, am I finished? Because once I get to that level of pain, it's hard to even walk on it. Luckily I was rounding the corner to see my crew, and when I hobbled up, they could tell something was wrong. They helped to sort me out with a Theragun, plus some fresh snacks and fluids, and I went back out there. This is where I was having to do involuntary intervals. Because some steps felt fine, then others didn't. But I kept reminding myself what my doctor said, that this wouldn't be permanent. So maybe it would straighten out. Kind of like how I learned to push through the pain of hiking during my first 50k, how the pain was temporary and it would come in waves, then wash away. I treated this like that. I had one more shock sensation at mile 16, but other than that, I was gold. I pushed and kept strong through mile 27 (just past the marathon point). At that point the emotions felt high, I just needed a good cry and some nourishment. And the Theragun (again). Some more buddies stopped by, I got to goof and get the spirits up again, and I was back out there. I was on track to hitting above 40 miles, but things were hurting a lot, so 50 was slipping away. That was okay. I still wanted to see what I could do.

     Miles 28 through 40 took ages. I walked one lap, realized it hurt more to walk than it did to run, so I went back to my intervals. And honestly I'm glad I did, because it kept me closer to the higher range of my goal. Some family members stopped in here and there. I kept eating as much as I could. Stopped again to get assisted stretching, and once mile 40 hit, I knew I had to treat it like I did the first 14 miles. Lock in, gather as much mileage as possible. Time was running out, but even if I walked the rest, I'd hit 42 miles. That was promising. Kept it cruising, got had some major blisters pop at mile 43. Got re-taped up and kept it moving. The clock stopped after I hit mile 45, but I just kept it moving to close out at 46 laps. And that's what I did.

    Overall, the pain was manageable. I could tell I had a solid mindset for the majority of it, even just with how strong the beginning and end were for me. I hit my "optimistic" goal I set for myself, the goal that I felt like I was reaching for the stars when I set it. But as I was cruising through the laps, I was hungry for it. I wanted it. And honestly, I wish I kept looping after the clock stopped, to reach that 50, because I know I could. I met some amazing people along the way, reunited with running buddies I already knew as well. It was just an overall fulfilling day. And days after, as I'm writing this, I'm walking very strongly with only slight pain in the left knee. And that's the thing too, PT was focused on my right side because that's what's been troubling me most. But besides the shock sensation and blisters, my left side gave me more grief during the 12hrs. Left ankle was swollen and needed taped (which, according to my doctor, I just exist with chronic swelling in my ankles), and my knee was achy. But nothing severe, nothing I couldn't push through.

​     It was worth the discomfort to see the distance I could go, literally and figuratively. And I wouldn't have seen numbers like that, had I not just gone for it. And had I not followed my strength training, my PT, my nutrition gameplan. I might not have seen it if I didn't prioritize mindset, because that's a huge part of this ultra-running thing. I went in knowing what I wanted, what not to worry about, what my circumstances were, but ultimately what my true goals were: mindset and miles. And the confidence I feel about it still helps overcome any disappointment I might've felt about last year's race. Runs don't always feel good; we don't always perform the way we strive to. But appreciating the really good moments outweighs the occasional rough ones.

     I want to spend another day 'playing' outside and gathering mileage, both hiking and running, to see what else I can accomplish on a random day (and as another training round before my 100k). I was about 20 miles short of a 100k distance, and that's perfectly okay. After the Vernal Equinox 12hr Race, I feel more capable and I feel more connected with my body. I needed that win, after all these months of uncertainty with PT. And I'm kind of glad I waited to write this post until after this first race, so I could tell you first-hand how empowering it feels to set those types of scary goals. You don't always know what you're capable of until you reach for it. And even if you miss it, you can chip away at these goals bit by bit, garnering more confidence, continuing to learn and grow, until one day you can make it. I expect to fail at some things, and who knows how I'll perform in the fall this year. But I've learned a lot, I'm training smarter, I'm more mindful. And I'm just excited.

     What else is in the works for me? I'm fundraising for The American Cancer Society, as I'll be running in the 2026 Chicago Marathon! This will be my first World Major marathon event, and my first actual road marathon race. If you'd like to donate to that (I'm over halfway to my goal), please check out my fundraising link here.
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Thank you guys for checking in on this! I still do hope to get back into writing more frequently. All I feel like writing about these days is fitness and wellness, let's be real.

​Let me know what scary goals you've set for yourself! Comment down below.

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