The Power of Structure

Hello friends,
I didn't write a blog post last month. Why? Because life felt like chaos.

   Great things happened last month, don't get me wrong. I ran in the summer Night Owl race, once again at the 10K distance, and crushed it. I added more items to my store's inventory, and feel really happy to watch my brand grow. I also took a vacation with my wonderful boyfriend and his friends, where we visited Boston, Salem, Vermont, and even spent a day in Montreal. And on top of all of this, my blog turned 10 years old, so I celebrated with a giveaway.

   It's safe to say, I had a busy month of June. I wanted to write something, one, because of the obligatory internal deadline I've given myself, and two, because I wanted to celebrate 10 years. But on the other hand, I was feeling burnout creeping up on me. I was taking on additional resposibilities throughout the month, while also processing the year anniversary since my mother passed. Not to mention I had a sick cat, where I visited my vet thrice in a month's time to situate him. It was too much at one time, so I didn't pressure myself to write. I wanted to end the month with a trip, where I could connect with friends and unplug a bit from everything else.

​   So yes, absolutely there were wins in June. But it also was filled with a ton of emotions, anxieties, and burnout. I wasn't as active, I wasn't sleeping well, I wasn't eating balanced meals. I was throwing my routine to the side, which only made me feel more frantic.

​   I mentioned in a recent post, 5 Wellness Notions I Love, that it's okay for life to be disorderly, that it's okay to 'play in the mud' on occasion. And while life's allowed to get messy, structure is really important in my life. That's why I tend to aim for a "balanced" lifestyle, whether that be with the food I eat, or the strict nature of my routine.

   When I started seeing my new therapist, we found that a major way for us to gauge my mental wellness was to determine when I feel the most calm, which I told her was when I felt like I was in a routine. Nothing chaotic, just an organized day-to-day schedule throughout the week.

   When I'm out of my routine for, say, a month, I feel unlike myself, scattered. It creates a pattern of other questionable choices, which then impact other aspects of my life and make me more stressed. An example of this domino effect is what occured all of last month: I was too booked up. I took on a major responsibility before I went on my trip, so much so that I was hardly home. This meant it felt fickle to buy groceries for myself, since I didn't even feel I had time to cook or meal prep. This meant I was spending all of my money on gas, since I had obligations and recurring vet visits, as well as eating to-go meals at restaurants. So I was eating mostly processed food, always on the go, wasting money, with zero time to unwind. I felt so lost, and was breaking down nearly every single evening. It was too much for me, so I asked for help from my sisters and boyfriend to step in and support when I needed at least a moment to breathe. This didn't help any of the financial stress I was causing myself, nor the greasy meals, but it was one moment to breathe. But that's the domino effect. It's where the walls feel like they're closing in on me. I'm juggling these obligations, feel I have zero control, and make the easiest decision in that moment, which is a quick bite on the road. Spontaneous choices like these are okay in moderation, but can some with major negative consequences overtime. I was lost outside of my routine. I was so far from it that it was in a major wave of depression and anxiety, and it's felt hard to regain that control since then.

   But last week and this week, I've been grabbing at the reins again, even in the smallest steps. It still hasn't been exactly reverted to where it was before June, but that's okay.

   My schedule used to be pretty strict, where I was in the gym three days a week, and running another three days, with usually one rest day. Things have altered a bit in the last half a year or so, where I'm a bit more social, I'm not always home, and I'm not always on my strict schedule. But like Cassia Tierney Clarke mentioned in her 9Lives episode about routine, it's okay to bend the schedule without breaking it. I'm still not as disciplined as I used to be, as far as at least waking up early for all my gym sessions, but I've been adapting my schedule to accommodate an occasional evening gym session and if all else fails, I can squeeze in treadmill runs throughout the week. Movement is movement, and as long as I take the time to gain some mileage and to hit upper and lower body at least once a week, I'm happy and structured enough for what I can grip at the moment. 

   Something I have majorly gotten back into the swing of is meal-prepping. I've been making lots of wraps, ensuring my meals are protein-packed and doused in plenty of veggies. I also am back on my fruit game, so I'm mixing strawberries and grapes most commonly, to pair with those protein focused entrees and ensure I feel satiated until my next meal. I know that in the long run, this will pull me away from extra processed, sugary foods and can distance me from my snack tendencies. Getting my nutrition back on track is always a bit challenging, but I find it to be the most impactful part of my day-to-day. Why? Because it immediately impacts my energy levels, my mood, and can fuel whatever movement I've got planned for the day. I've also improved my water intake, where I minimally aim to drink 96 ounces of water throughout the day, but more strongly aim to reach 108 ounces come night time. I carry a 32oz water bottle with me regardless, but I've gotten a lot better and keeping it in view while I'm working so I remember to sip, sip, sip.

   Building back that routine isn't something that can always happen over night. It takes time, and daily efforts (however big or small) to make progress and to gain back discipline. My schedule still isn't quite where I want it, but my efforts with food is a major win for me, and I think it's a strong foundation to start on getting everything else aligned. Meal prepping alone helps me save money, feel more peace of mind (since I'm prepared), and strongly affects my mood and energy for the day. The more energy I feel when I finish the work day immediately impacts if I choose movement, like going for a run, or if I decide to work on personal projects to improve my business. That energy keeps me focused so I can do the things that can help me better my health, my mindset, and my goals.

   Week by week, I'm re-building my routine and feeling a sense of peace that I was lacking last month. Sometimes I feel like I take my routine for granted, but at the end of the day, it's amazing what day-to-day disciplines can to to garner calmness. Even if you're in the midst of the chaos, add some daily to-dos. Make a list in the morning if you need, or try at least one Duolingo lesson every day. Make your bed, or take a brief walk with coffee. Put something at the forefront of your day to check off your to-do list. You'll slowly restore confidence in yourself and in your disciplines, and find yourself appreciating what you're capable of. So that the next time you find your schedule shaken, no matter for how long, you'll know in your heart that you can find your way back to your calm, and start showing that extra care for yourself.

   If you relish in the chaos, definitely disregard. But if you're an anxious person like myself, I encourage you with love to give it a try. Create a daily ritual, if you don't have one already. Check it off each day. You'll hopefully begin to realize how much love that gives to you, choosing yourself each day. There's freedom in discipline. Lean into it.
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What's a ritual that you do daily? Comment down below!

Keep on grinning,

​Lydia