Altocelarophobia

12/14/2018

Hello friends!
Welcome back to my inner thoughts.

My blog has always been a place where I can transcribe my unruly emotions and also allow you guys to get to know me (or even yourselves along the way) a bit better. So I thought, why not delve in deeper to my more specific fears and help them dissolve over time?

In 2017, I faced my fear of flying on a plane. But there's a fear, similar to a fear of heights, that I have yet to tackle. And as 2018 comes to a close, now became the time to do it.

Altocelarophobia is the fear of tall ceilings, tall buildings, and enormous enclosed rooms. So, basically, the reversed fear of heights. I actually had to research the name for this fear because I never knew what it was, but I always knew I couldn't be alone with this one.

Ever since I was younger, I've always struggled with the little things. Eating at The Cheesecake Factory with friends, sitting in church, going to band class--they all made me feel nauseous because of those high ceilings. I always asked to move seats in school assemblies, even through high school, because I just couldn't bring myself to feel trapped in the packed bleachers in the middle of the enormous gymnasiums. They might not seem that intense to most, but to me, they always made me feel queasy.

One of my biggest struggles with this fear happened years ago when my brother graduated from college. He graduated in the Wright State Nutter Center, which, if you haven't been there, it's pretty big. Like, overwhelming for me. I remember feeling so nauseous that my mom had to try sitting with me in different areas so see where I could tolerate being. I felt so terrible because I was worried people would think I was being self-centered and attention-seeking.

Well, this past Saturday I woke up with the knowledge that I would have to do it all over again. Same phobia, same place. But this time, for my sister's graduation. I didn't want to make a big deal out of my fear to my family because I once again didn't want to seem self-centered. So I quietly told my twin sister and my brother (yes, the same one who graduated from the Nutter Center years ago) in seek of some comfort this time through.

So, keeping my goal to face my fear in mind, I slowly made my way into the auditorium (is that what I can call it?) and sat down. Normally I require knowing that I can escape (fight or flight) if I needed to at any point, but I didn't get an aisle seat this time. I also normally require some sort of sensory stimulus, like minty gum to distract my mouth, so I don't feel as nauseous. But I also didn't have that. This time, all I had was my deep breathing, my siblings' support, and my mindset to help me through this one.

Surely enough, I made it through the entire ceremony and even was able to control my breathing and remain calm. I surprisingly didn't experience much nausea once we were seated! I was able to fight through it without having to exit the auditorium or panicking.

I want to thank my siblings for keeping my mind distracted, to congratulate my sister for graduating, and to give some props to myself for facing one of my other biggest fears just one year after Fight (F)or Flight. I'm not one to normally make resolutions, but I can't wait to see what parts of my anxiety I can tackle in 2019.

I don't think it's conceited to say that I'm proud of how well I've been able to challenge my anxiety in 2018, especially being single for the majority of the year. If you have anxiety, you might know that sometimes it's just harder not having that someone around to comfort you. But I've made it this far. I've made so much progress and have embraced the change that challenged me in 2018. I live on my own now, I work two jobs, I'm in school. I've now faced my (arguably) second biggest fear. I still have my ups and downs, but who doesn't?

Thank you guys for coming on this journey with me and for being patient with the fluctuating blog schedule. It's definitely a hectic time of the year, that's for sure. But I'll be back next week with a Fall Favorites!

Keep on grinning!

Lydia

28 Comments

Sonny

12/19/2018 10:57:51 am

Whatta neat story. Whatta neat woman. Whatta neat human being. Whatta mind. What persistence. What insight/perceptions. How exciting you are!!!!!

uriah

11/25/2021 02:17:41 pm

hello, my friends think that i wrote your comment.

i think that would be weird if i did.

please respond

alexis kyle

4/5/2021 10:53:25 am

I'm starting to think I have this too. I'm already diagnosed with agoraphobia but it's really hard to tell if it's just my agoraphobia but i know that I can't go into Walmart/Kroger/Arenas/Malls/etc.. that are huge on the inside but that means they're open, too - so I guess I suffer from both agoraphobia and altocelarophobia? or Altocelarophobia could just be apart of agoraphobia?

Lydia link

4/7/2021 08:23:26 pm

Hi Alexis!
I definitely think altocelarophobia is something that can be undiagnosed, like how a phobia or spiders or something can exist. But for sure, it could be linked with agoraphobia. Great point! And thanks for reading! As a side note, I totally agree with malls and stores. My stomach drops!

Breanna

4/20/2021 04:26:16 am

Thank you for sharing this! I’ve been dealing with Altocelarophobia since I was four years old. I’m now in my 20s and it affects me more now than it ever has. It’s so hard explaining this phobia to others and I’ve been searching for years to find someone who understands what I’m going through because they experience the same thing. So thank you again.

4/20/2021 02:42:04 pm

I gotchu Breanna! It was kinda hard to find references, myself! Even something so simple, like eating at The Cheesecake Factory, made me feel almost nauseous from the high ceilings!

Kate Drohan

2/18/2022 08:06:11 pm

Hi Breanna, I've had altocelarophobia since I was 3 or 4 also. This was over 50 years ago, so there was no known name for it, and my mother just told me to get over it. Eventually, I was able to get past it, its not as bad now, I just don't look up at the high celings. Movie theaters are the worst, even in the dark. I don't know why, its just creepy to me. hang in there.

Steven E Snyder link

6/9/2022 09:10:25 am

Kate,

I've had this too and I was about 4 years old. With high ceilings do you feel like you might float up to them? I think mime was caused when I was little and lost a helium balloon and for some reason it felt like I would float off too.

Ryken

4/22/2021 10:45:25 am

Is this like anablephobia? Because I think I have both

4/22/2021 11:57:05 am

One of my friends has anablephobia so he feels discomfort looking at the sky. I can see them going hand-in-hand, definitely!

Millie Goodman

4/5/2023 03:30:26 am

Hello, I have been suffering with a fear of looking up at high buildings, tall ceilings (like a church) and looking up at the sky mostly at night. It feels like a fear of heights but opposite in a way. Instead of not being able to look down, you can’t look up.

Sam

7/4/2021 04:52:39 pm

I have had this feeling since I was literally in 2nd grade, I was on a field trip to the planetarium. All of my classmates thought it was so fun & all I could do was cringe & curl into a ball with my eyes closed. I always thought something was wrong with me. I'm still facing this issue whenever I go out to certain places. It's literally like I'm falling upward which never made sense til now. I'm glad I'm not the only one.

7/8/2021 08:18:24 pm

Yessss that's such an accurate description, feeling like you could curl into a ball. It's such a nauseating feeling.

Kate

2/19/2022 09:26:23 am

has anyone here heard of kenophobia? It is the fear of large, empty rooms. I would say its related to altocelarophobia, except that it doesn't involve high ceilings. I have to say I don't like large empty rooms either.

Lindsay

3/7/2023 10:22:00 am

Yes!!!! Had this same experience at about the same age!! Feels like you’re falling and I like had to grab onto something. I didn’t understand it, and when I’ve gone inside capital buildings or the Vatican I had to take deep breaths and looks straight ahead of my legs literally go weak and I feel like I’m gonna faint or have a massive panic attack! Such a weird but real phobia! Sometimes even happens when I’m driving through a city with tall buildings.

Olu

10/20/2023 08:08:38 am

Oh wow!. This is same phobia I have, I have been trying to link mine to when it all started. It's worse when the room has no windows or very low light coming in and even worse when it's sound proof or empty or has equally large objects in the room.

How can one over come this fear? Any ideas?

Larry

3/7/2022 05:34:15 pm

And I thought I was the only one in the world that suffered from this ! It has altered my life more times than I care to remember.. According to family history I was an infant in my mothers arms when she walked into Michigan Central train station. I immediately went white and started crying inconsolably. Fast forward 70 years and I still suffer. Dante's inferno creates a whole new level for me when I have to go into a movie theatre, enclosed stadium, etc. etc. My personal hell is an Imax theatre. It seems to have all the triggers to bring out the worst in me. Although I would never wish this affliction on anyone a modicum of relief washes over me knowing I'm not alone

Walter Batman

8/3/2022 12:56:04 pm

Was researching glad I found this site.
I have been dealing with the same thing since I was very young. My symptoms are exactly like the fear of heights. Any big building with high ceilings trigger anxiety and a feeling like I’m going to pass out

Emily

12/18/2022 01:10:22 am

I'm so happy to be reading this article along with the comments knowing I'm not alone. For as long as I could remember, I've had this phobia and the worst part was feeling alone in it. I remember explaining this to my friends and them or no one for that matter understanding me. I often feel like I'll get sucked up into the ceiling if I look up at it. Sometimes if I even just think about high ceilings or tall buildings or big enclosed spaces, they make me weak. It doesn't help that it have generalized anxiety either. I remember I used to also HATE gym glass in elementary because of the gymnasium high ceilings. It prevented me from wanting to play basketball or volleyball because I didn't want to look up for the ball. I'm 25 now and I can't say the fear has gotten any better, although I sometimes feel like I have a better handle on it than I did as a kid. I'm hoping that at some point, it'll just go away but I feel like I need to mentally overcome it somehow. If anyone has any ideas of a type of therapy that could be useful, please let us know!

12/18/2022 12:02:41 pm

Hi Emily! I'm glad you've found some sense of community by reading this post! I will say that I find comfort sometimes by sitting up higher (I'm also afraid of heights, so I just have to find a good middle ground location) and finding some way to ground myself, even if it means to sitting kind of hunched, resting my face in my hand. Another thing I do for comfort is I pack mints wherever I go in case I need some sensory help. Keeping my mouth busy if my head is spinning helps me feel a lot sharper and aware of what's actually going on instead of how anxious I feel. I hope these help! Feel free to email or add me on socials if you ever want to brainstorm more ideas!

7/3/2024 10:48:14 pm

omg not me forgetting to reply to this in 2022 and then googling this phobia again to gain more clarity and reassurance and then finding this post yet again and then finding your comment! LOL I'd love to exchange socials 🥹 my ig is @emilykgruz <3

beth foster

7/10/2023 09:10:17 am

Wow! There's a name for this! My son has this and has since before he could speak (he is autistic)! Thank you for this post

Steven E Snyder

8/9/2023 02:27:11 pm

Beth,

Hopefully your son can overcome it with time/age? I got over it by my early teens. I still don't like being on ladders over ten feet tall !

Donnie

10/31/2023 09:27:24 am

I haav dealt with this my whole life. At first I had no idea why I would react the way I did, in aChurch with a high ceiling, i hoped I would outgrow it....but no such luck. A few years ago, a kind client researched it....with success.....as I had failed myself. He gave me the name of my affliction. Unless you have it, you cannot really relate to the feelings of panic, and being trapped, it brings on. In my worst moments, I become frozen in place, focussing on one spot with myceyes, and shallow breathing only. My irrational fear is that I am goingvto be sucked up to the ceiling, at any moment, THIS time!

Julian

11/22/2023 12:26:00 pm

I have this also and it's not joke, I recall my worst time being in a museum with those ridiculously high ceilings. Quite why they need to be so high but as an 9 year old me it was petrifying and I tried as much as I could do cling side walls rather than anywhere near the open middle.

Just awful. I tried once in the bravest thing I've ever done which was to confront it and do a headstand in an army barracks and then open my eyes and look up at the ceiling. It was a case of needing to try because I was at some point going to join the army and this was my biggest fear. It did absolutely nothing to improve things and simply made me realise I couldn't get over it. Luckily I didn't join the army because of it but did go on to do well regardless. Other than London's train stations and churches, I don't have worry that it's there at all but just an awful thing to have. I got mine when I was dangled from up high close to a rail with a huge drop and later I discovered I had somehow now this horrific fear when going into my school hall at the age of 7. From that age because we don't tend to speak well our worries, I went through primary and secondary school mostly always concerned when it came to sports in the halls.

If you have this and you are at school with it, please realise you need to tell your teachers the problem and that it's a very real issue that they might not be aware of

Tee

2/2/2024 10:44:59 pm

Hmmm…so glad to know I’m finally connecting and seeing ppl who are like me. I suffer from agoraphobia, acrophobia, and now I just learned I also have Altocelarophobia. I always knew I was afraid of heights from a young age. But I remember going to a gym in middle school when no one was in there with those tall ceilings and wide open space….i was overwhelmed with fear and had no idea I had it or what it was I was in middle school and couldn’t explain myself until I went to therapy. It’s something to do with loss of control I think. I’m not sure. Like if I were on the floor in the gym…gravity let loose and I’d hit the ceiling. Weird irrational thoughts I know. Maybe it has something to do with when I was 9 in elementary and I came home from school and on the news my mother had 9-11 on the news. And I seen the planes crash into the tall buildings. Ever since then I hate tall buildings and the ability to not be able to get back to safety on the ground quick if there is an emergency. I do not want to be high off the ground in a building. Tall buildings and open wide spaces bother me badly. What I’m noticing is that a fear of heights agoorophobia and Altocelarophobia are commonly grouped together. If u have one of these phobias they usually accompany each other. Please please please add me on social media or create a group for us on Ig or Twitter or some social media site. We may be able to put our ideas together to see what we have in common to figure this thing out where we can understand it more.

Nova

3/8/2024 12:57:15 am

Omg I'm so glad I'm not the only one 😭
Mine started developing when I was 16 I think? Everything was really stressful at that time and in the recent years in university it's been a really tough fight to sit down in the cafeteria with my classmates. That place has a really tall ceiling, is always filled with noise and a lot of people. I always think it's so embarrassing and people wouldn't understand if I told them about how I feel.

There's a classroom in my uni that has a tall ceiling and the chairs are literally so tightly packed that there's no way to get out if you're sitting in the middle. I had to sit in the middle a few times and those 6 hours every week were the worst moments of my life. All I could do was listen to music in full blast and scribble nonsense in my notebook.

Last year I actively took to master the skill of calming down with breathing and positive affirmations. It's helped a ton with exposing myself in small amounts in those large spaces. The issue is not fully gone as I still get dizzy under a tall ceiling and whenever I'm stressed or tired, it seems to trigger easily.

Sending strength and positive vibes to all of you!! ❤️❤️ This is truly a little shithead of a problem to deal with

Pigeon

7/21/2024 09:22:04 pm

I am so happy I'm not the only one. Every time i tried to explain to people they would always go "so just a fear of heights or megalophobia." and every time i had to explain to them that no i don't fear hieghts and giant objects usually interest me. But every time im in a really big room with nothing in it and see a ceiling above me way too high up i'm uncomfortable and anxious. A family member has said to me one of their dream places to live would be a city with lots of skyscrapers, and to me that sounds like an absolute nightmare.
I worked in a mall for over a year. The mall had a tall office building attached to it and it could be seen very easily from the food court. Every day i had to look down at the ground just so i wouldn't get freaked out by the office building. Anytime me and my friends went shopping there i would have to make sure to sit facing away from it.
"Fun" story though my highschool gym had a really tall ceiling. Most of the time i could ignore it but just not looking but during a situp test thats where you are forced to face. So i just kept my eyes closed the entire time during the test and got the most situps possible in the test. I just kept thinking that if i kept going with my eyes closed i wouldnt have to look up.

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