Everything I've Been Wanting to Talk About

Hello friends!
My oh my, it's been a minute since I blogged. A month, to be exact.

   I've been so inside my head lately because I haven't had any time to blog. I feel like my posts went from weekly to monthly. And yes, that breaks my heart. But at the same time, I've been busy. Like, super duper busy.

   In a week I'll have earned my Associate's in Visual Communications. School has been the busiest this semester compared to any other semester I've had in college. It's been a complete roundup of everything I've ever learned. And now, it's time to apply it all to create the most majestic portfolio ever. Don't worry, I plan on somewhat documenting my portfolio show. Maybe we'll save that for next week? (I'm being optimistic guys, okay?)

   Despite being busy, I've felt super inspired. Whether it be lack of sleep or lack of time, it's been hard to set aside that time to sit down and write something. So I wanted to discuss everything I've been wanting to post. Everything I've missed out on this Spring, thus far.
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I'm clueless but I'm proud of myself

   First order of business: my mindset. I've been so busy that I have no time or energy to even think about potentially starting dating again. Sometimes I think it's a great idea, but then I remember how tired I already am and how far I'm getting on my own. I still have so much self-discovery (which, I mean, does the self-discovery ever end? I don't think that's possible). Despite being hard on myself lately (since I'm so tired and cranky), I recognize how far I've come.

​   I've been adapting to living my own person. I got my first tattoo, I'm learning how to make coffee at my other job, I'm completing my projects on time and fully loving it, I trust my design input and capabilities, and I try to be the best, most positive person I can be. Seeing other people's happiness makes me feel happy. And yes, sometimes I overcompensate in my friendships. You'll often see me being too obnoxiously goofy or very worriedly apologizing. But no matter what, I'm proud of myself for spending more time with those who share that positive energy with me.

   On top of this, I'm proud of myself for sticking to my main New Year's Resolution: going out more. I've been embracing the city life, making new friends, and getting out of my comfort zone. I'm actually going to be attending two concerts this year. I've never been to a concert before.
​Lydia 2.0??? Who is she????

   Another thing I've become more conscious of is my reaction to others around me. They have no control over my life. Their words might be harsh, but I'm still being my best self. I'm still being kind to others, I'm still working hard. I'm still going as far as my mental health can take me. I'm challenging myself to remain my best self and to not waste my energy on negative moments in my life. Instead, I'm always trying to keep on grinning.

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I've been having fun with and without makeup

   Since I always find myself running around everywhere, I feel like there's a lot of mornings where I can't unwind with my makeup. Makeup to me isn't a necessity, but it is a super fun way to express my more creative side and to de-stress. And I've actually been feeling decently comfortable without it. However, I do have palettes that I've been using since the Winter that I love. And since I didn't post a Winter Favorites this year, I want to show you guys the beautiful Morphe 35M palette. It's so fun to dabble in. A swatches + review type of blog post was on my agenda, but as school picked up, I held off on it. But just look at this beauty!

I've been more open about my skin

   Something I mentioned a couple times in the past here on G&N is that my OCD comes into play a lot when I'm anxious and I just pick at my skin. Whether I do it consciously or subconsciously, I pick at myself. All through middle and high school I was asked daily what was wrong with my skin. But as I've gotten older, I've actually started to meet people who go through the same thing. It's just amazing how many people you can meet when everyone around you is open and loving.

   My scars are annoying yet invisible. They're saddening yet a positive reminder. They don't define me, yet they help mold who I am. It's a difficult concept to explain, but as traditionally ugly as my scars are, I appreciate them. They've helped me realize what's truly important. It isn't all about looks, it's about looking at myself and realizing that what was once being picked at is now healed. It's scarred, and I've moved on. I might still pick here and there, but I'm constantly growing and constantly trying to tend to my mental health. Vanity isn't everything.

   So when the scars on my right arm began to fade, I treated myself to a tattoo, one that gives thanks to my family. I wanted to take the bad and make beautiful, positive artistry. 

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I have so many ideas

   I know that I have a site announcements page for this type of thing, but I'm so excited. Once I graduate, I'll have time to go out and try out some new things for Grins & Needles.

   I'll start producing my own merch, for sure. I've been wanting to do that for a while now, and I finally know some amazing sites that would be able to help me make that dream a reality. Another goal of mine? To create a podcast. My friend Victoria and I have such a goofy dynamic, and what better way to capture it than by just listening to our endless conversations? It's a project that I've never explored before, so who knows when that will actually start.

   I definitely want to document a lot in the coming weeks. My portfolio show, the concerts I want to attend, and even a decluttering post since I intend on moving again in the next month or so. Maybe I'll even experiment with YouTube again, since I learned how to use Adobe Premiere this semester. Ah, so much on my mind.

   Lastly, I want to try out more photography styles. Here are some samples of a boudoir shoot I did for my portfolio show, inspired by my 2014 collaboration with AdoreMe: 

   This is my year of doing things. This is my time to make Grins & Needles everything I want it to be and more. I want to make more Fashion posts, more DIYs. More videos. Who knows, maybe I'll post a sewing tutorial on this site to account for the "needles" part of the title.

   I want to continue to write about things that make me happy and that touch on the importance of looking out for yourself. I want to encourage you all to go out and get inspired. Do something you love. Enjoy every day, rain or shine. Reach out to old friends and make new connections. Make art. Buy a plant. Hydrate. Take care of yourself and make the most of your individuality.

Thank you guys so much for being so supportive always. You guys are wonderful. Hopefully I'll get back on my weekly schedule once I graduate. Keep on grinning!

​Lydia