Hello friends! Woah! I haven't blogged in two weeks. What's been going on in my life?
I guess I'll just start by introducing you to my Daruma Doll. It's a little something that my soon-to-be sister-in-law (Angie) got for me a couple of weeks ago.
Now, as you know, my last blog post, Fight [F]or Flight, discussed my nerve racking intention to fly. I talked about how it was a huge fear of mine since I had never done it, and how I wanted to avoid traveling on an airplane for as long as I possibly could. But in that post, I also talked about how I felt like I needed to do it, how I would be so disappointed in myself if I didn't just say yes.
So before my flight, I decided to go to TJ Maxx with Angie to grab a few items for the beach. However, before we left to go shopping, she handed me a little pink box and told me she got me something. So when I opened it, I found this small, egg-shaped man. She explained to me that he is a Daruma doll, a traditional symbol of good luck and goal-setting in Japanese culture. As you can see, he has plain white eyes. The idea is that, when someone thinks of a goal, they fill in one eye with paint or marker. Then when they achieve the goal, the fill in the second eye.
And, of course, she and I knew what I needed to use it for--my trip. So I went ahead and filled in one eye before I would be travelling.
On the 5th of August, around 7:30 pm, I stepped onto my first plane. And it didn't hit me until I actually sat down. I began shaking but I knew I didn't want to let my anxiety win in this situation. So I buckled up, put on my sea bands (to prevent motion sickness), and just stayed close to Tyler.
Also, people warned me about takeoff. And, boy, were they right. It just...is really fast. But Tyler tried to help me control my breathing a bit and I squeezed his hand until we got high enough up where I could just listen to music and enjoy the beautiful view. And once we got up there, I felt calm.
Being up there made me feel really relieved, to be honest. I felt like something that's been holding me down for years has finally lifted, that I can finally enjoy life and travel and try new things. I feel like now I can live a little more fearlessly.
Fortunately our flight was en evening flight, so we got to watch the sunset over the layers and layers of white, and see some city lights as we lowered beneath those clouds..
When we landed, I was really content. I was also super tired from taking Ativan and Dramamine, but still. Despite not having much energy, I felt a huge weight off my shoulders. I finally...I did it.
When we finally got situated in the beach house, I finally got to rest up.
That week spent in South Carolina was absolutely amazing. Amazing food, amazing sites to see. I couldn't get enough of it. I felt finally anxiety-free. And It really did reshape my perspective on some things.
So I guess you could say I did it. I flew there, and I flew back home. And I had such an amazing and eye opening experience. I just want to give out some thank yous to people.
Thank you to Angie for the Daruma doll. I really appreciate the fact that you were thinking of me. And also the fact that you've been letting me nervously message you for weeks about this trip. Thank you to my friend Dana for also letting me message you for weeks prior to this. I guess basically to anyone who I've nervously talked to about it. I appreciate you all. Everyone's expressed so much confidence in me that I didn't think I had, myself.
Thank you to my brother Landon for calling me and saying, "You can do iiiiit!" before my flight. To my sister Lila and to my grandma for video chatting with me and calling me during the week. To Lana for keeping me updated on my cat and doggo, making sure to spoil them when I was gone. To my parents for messaging me during the week. To Tyler's family for believing in me as well, and not treating me any differently when I was anxious. To all of you who commented on my statuses and blog posts regarding the trip. Thank you all, so much, for instilling confidence in me.
And to you, Tyler. Thank you for holding my hand through everything. For letting me cry to you, for letting me grab onto you when I was shaking. For telling me you were proud of me, every step of the way. For spending time with me throughout the week. Even when we'd go to the beach together in cloudy, windy weather conditions. Having you by my side made everything easier, even when you say that facing my fear was all my doing. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Coming home, I find that I have a new perspective on things. The clouds are so much more beautiful from the sky. Being on a plane isn't as bad as I thought it would be. And now I feel like the whole world is opened up to me. I had a lot of fun with the photography throughout the trip (even though the photos on this post are all over the place). Some of my proudest photos are on Instagram at the moment. But this honestly makes me want to try travel blogging at some point. I just want to get out and explore, even more now; now that there's not really much fear standing in my way.
So who knows. Maybe you might see some changes on my blog, now. Like a more confident version of myself.
Thank you all for your support. What are some places you'd want to explore sometime?