Five Years

Hello friends!
Hi. It's me, Lydia. And I'm still here. And it's been five years.

   So...this came up quick. On 6/11/19, G&N officially celebrated its fifth birthday. And I'm still shocked. I mean, that's half a decade. This blog started as a private place for me to share my love of fashion and makeup. It was also a place to put my random thoughts about my anxiety.

   I originally made Grins & Needles towards the end of my sophomore year of high school. It was a time where I was beginning to feel excluded and unwanted. A time where I felt most alone and most afraid. My anxiety was at its peak and I was scared to even leave the house. I constantly felt sick and nearly needed a dietitian's help--I started experiencing heart palpitations as well. It was all scary, but it was all brought on by my own psych. And because of that, I created a private outlet that helped me feel more included and more understood. More human.

   Luckily, I started making friends in the blogging community, like Natalie P and Alexandra Spence. They've been amazing and beautiful women to look to for inspiration and support. I felt finally included in the overall blogging atmosphere, and in 2015, my ex encouraged me to share my words and photos with the world; so I finally opened up about my blog to my family and peers.

   
​   So for today's post, I decided to talk about five blessings, if you will, that I've felt in these five years. Let's dive in, shall we?

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5. I've created and grown amazing friendships with people

   There are so many people in my life who I'm grateful for. My friends and family help me get through facing my fears, they help me pick myself back up when I'm so crumbled that I can't do it alone. They support me in every way possible, even if it's just me giving my business card to a total stud. Even a special shout out is due for my ex boyfriend. Despite our fall-out, I can appreciate that he encouraged me to travel more and to face my fears. I don't regret a single thing. Also, if any of you are not pictured here but you're a pal of mine, don't fret! I still love y'all!

4. I've explored more

   It's wild to compare where I am now with where I started. When I started this blog, like I previously mentioned, I couldn't even really leave the house. But at this point, I've been on my first plane, I've gone to festivals and street fairs, I've been to concerts, and I actually go to bars now. I'm just so incredibly grateful to have been able to watch myself grow this much. I hope it helps encourage any of you who have been in the same boat to get out there and appreciate the world around you. Take a friend and just try to enjoy the little things in life.

3. I've watched myself grow on multiple different levels

   One of the most incredible things about having a blog is being able to watch myself grow. I can see how my content has changed, how my photography has changed, how my mindset has changed, and how I've even just physically grown up. Through this growth, I've seen my  independence and will to face fears become stronger. I've grown to find ways to love myself. I feel can actually find things about myself to feel proud of, without someone else to validate me. On another note, my writing is more lucid than it was. I've developed my own style of writing for myself and I have a better understanding of the world than I did before.

2. I've faced fears

   My goal through talking about my anxiety is to not only help others, but to also motivate myself to continue to grow. So I can honestly say that I am incredibly proud of how many fears I've faced while blogging. I've been on a plane, I've faced my fear of altocelarophobia, I've been to my first concert, I met my first celebrity (yes, it was the Lil Bub), and I've even learned how to be on my own. Change is scary, but I've been able to push myself through it.

1. I've been monitoring my mental health

   Like I said before, I use my blog as a way to help others and to help myself in the process. My mindset has changed tremendously through these five years. I have a better understanding of my motives, whether it be why my love life is a struggle, or why I let myself get manipulated so easily. There's usually an underlying reason to why things happen and why I feel certain ways, and using this blog has helped me to articulate the "why" in my feelings. And sure, you don't always need a why. Feelings are a human's superpower. But I love being able to understand myself, to pick my own brain. To figure out where I'm struggling so I can persevere. With all this, my content has changed from primarily fashion and beauty to the little joys in my life. Let's grow together.

Thank you guys so much for five years. You're all wonderful!

Thank you guys for reading! Check out our podcast if you haven't already! Keep on grinning!

​​Lydia