Internal Spring Cleaning

Hello friends!
I've reached a very interesting point in my life. There's a lot of change happening, and I'd love to talk about it.

   Normally I'm the type of person who fears change. It makes me uncomfortable. It can be unpredictable--maybe even permanent, depending on the circumstances. It's just always somewhat worrisome, so I've never found myself particularly excited for change. But this time, I am, and I'm ready to elaborate on the subject.

   So...where to start? The fact that I graduated? Or the fact that I quit one of my jobs? Or maybe that I'm moving out again, soon? Okay. Maybe I'll cover all of those for you.

   There's a lot going on and it can be hard to compartmentalize sometimes, so I will begin by saying that it's crucial to be consistent with self care through change. That's something I've learned along the way, anyway. So something I've been making a point to do is to go to therapy. Without having much time to utilize my outlet of blogging weekly, since I've been getting used to a new schedule, I've had to make sure to actively come to terms with my emotions and with conflicts and changes in my life. So seeing my therapist weekly or biweekly has been an essential. So my advice is, if you're afraid of change, to find at least one outlet that can remain consistent through it all. That way, it's easier to progress and to feel more comfortable through it all.

   So the first big change recently has been my graduation. I knew once I would graduate that my life would only get more and more switched up. I'd be moving somewhere new (my deadline to leave my old apartment was right after graduation), I'd be working more, and I'd be on the job hunt for more career-based work. I also wanted to focus more on design and photography, but so far I haven't had much time or energy.

   Anyways, I can start by saying how strange it is not to have to think about school work anymore...and I kind of miss it, to be honest. I believe I finished that semester with As and Bs, but overall, I'm very satisfied and proud of all the work I was challenged to complete and how well I did it. My heart and soul was poured into that portfolio, and I'm so happy with the education I received at Sinclair. I left the college feeling inspired and confident in myself!

   So the next step was moving out.

   I wanted to move out because of lack of compatibility between my roommate and me. We disagreed on a lot of topics regarding living together, and that created conflict and rumors that were spread, maybe unintentionally, into the workplace. So she and I communicated very openly and civilly about how we would transition from being roommates to moving apart.

   Next step--getting a new place with my older sister. I'm so excited to dress up this space and to just thoroughly enjoy my time with someone who has a more true understanding of me. I'm super stoked to decorate and feel truly proud of a space. Having a cute environment makes the designer in me feel super giddy and stress-free. So I'm not sure if that makes me materialistic or not. Who knows! All I know is I love comprehensive interior designs and layouts.

   And lastly, I quit one of my jobs. Yes, it was my retail job. So now I'm a full-time barista and it's so much fun! I love seeing all the regulars and feeling super hands-on with my work. It's hard to continue working in a place that's being plagued by rumors and negative energy. I loved that job and the people in it, but eventually it became clique-y and, well, tricky. Who knows, maybe I'll go back once things cool down! But for now, I need to take a step back and breathe, for my own sake.

   Leaving that job was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, but now that I only have one job, I feel like I can finally breathe. I feel like I can take time for myself and move into this new place with less stress and less places to be. I appreciate all the people I've met in that job and all the things I've learned while working there. I don't regret a minute of it.

   So in conclusion, my goal is to continue to sit and accept all the changes that are happening. I'm going to wake up each morning and adapt and evolve as the days proceed.

Thank you guys so much for catching up! If you haven't checked out my new podcast already, you can follow the official account on insta (@SnaccOnTracc).

Keep on grinning!

​Lydia