My Interview with a Dominatrix

9/27/2020

Before I get into today's post, there are some important causes to support.

Please consider checking out the following resources:

- Disaster relief: https://disasterphilanthropy.org/
- COVID-19 fund: https://www.who.int/emergencies/diseases/novel-coronavirus-2019/donate
- BLM: https://nymag.com/strategist/article/where-to-donate-for-black-lives-matter.html
- Check your voting status: https://www.vote.org/

Hello friends!
Last time I posted on this series, I interviewed a local painter. This time, I'm stoked to interview someone I've been following for a long time.

I've been following Miss Vampyr for years. I was always so excited to see her super intricate makeup looks. She always had some of the best artistic vision when it came to styling full-faces that I've seen. Her photo quality was (and still is) also impeccable. Besides still being an icon in the makeup arena, her online presence and career has gradually transformed into something super dope--she became a dominatrix.

With my fascination in her career field, alongside the current uptick in people who are curious about starting OnlyFans accounts, I wanted to interview Miss Vampyr. I wanted to dive deep into not only her profession, but also her personality. I wanted to learn more about this queen, and hopefully in doing this I can help lower bit of the stigma that comes with sex work.

So without further a do, here's our interview. Also, please note, all photos are from her instagram. You can follow her here and support her work here.

Grins & Needles: "What’s your preferred job title?"
Miss Vampyr: "My preferred job title would be “Femdom Fatale”, but I don’t think that’s as easily understandable and therefore not as catchy as “dominatrix”. I’m a dominatrix."

G&N: "If you had to explain your profession to someone who doesn’t see sneak peeks on your social media—what exactly does this profession entail?"
MV: "What I do is basically a deep dive of the more erotically curious part of the human psyche. I create a safe space for people to express themselves in a way that may seem taboo or forbidden in their day-to-day life. I am to bring a mix of comfort, pleasure, and thrilling exploration that may not be found elsewhere."

G&N: "What platform are you using? And are you content with that specific platform?"
MV: "I think I’m currently on about a dozen platforms. I am quite content with a few of them, but I think they all need some improvement which I’m hopeful they’ll achieve over time."

G&N: "I think you mentioned to me in the past that you are working full time. How do you measure success? And how long did it take you to form an audience / gain success in your career?"
MV: "Success as an independent contractor or freelancer is difficult to measure, let alone the success of a sex worker. The world we live in is currently fighting against sex work as a whole and making it harder for people to reach the same success as people in other career paths. So with that being said, success for me is boiled down to how I feel; proud, satisfied, and gainful. It’s taken me about 3 years to get to where I am now."

G&N: "With quarantine, a lot of people are making accounts on OnlyFans to help make some extra cash, while finances are tight. What’s some advice you can give them?"
MV: "Sex work has always been a fall back for some people, ie. stripping, prostitution. Some people respect that, but some don’t. Because of some negative opinions towards sex work, workers -no matter how long they’re in the business for- will face some sort of backlash. Now with the internet involved so heavily, that multiplies it tremendously. With all of that said, don’t put anything out there you wouldn’t be able to live with if you’re family, friends, coworkers, or employers discovered. There is always a chance for that, so be prepared!"

G&N: "Sometimes I find that even treating myself to something like a boudoir photo shoot makes me feel confident. Does your profession impact your body image / confidence, whether it be positively or negatively?"
MV: "Definitely! In ways both positive and negative. Because of the work I do, which heavily involves being in front of the camera, I’ve really looked at my entire body under a microscope. I notice things that I normally wouldn’t and can sometimes hyper focus on them. However, my work has shed some beautiful light on parts and features of my body that I never liked before. Like my body hair, random beauty marks, or the size of my hips and thighs. It’s been nice to grow into that positivity."

G&N: "What does a typical day in your life consist of, even outside of working?"
MV: "So. Much. Reading. I’ve been quickly building up quite the collection of books lately so I’ve been happily devouring those! I talk to my clientele on a daily basis as well. Honestly, I think my typical day is way more relaxed than most people would think. But if they like the thought of me roaming around a castle with pet bats, feasting on willing men and showering myself in money, silk, and jewels, then that’s totally fine."

G&N: "What are some of your favorite hobbies? What do you love to do?"
MV: "Like I mentioned before, I love reading! I have such a thirst for knowledge of everything so I spend a lot of time happily acquiring information that I probably could live without knowing. I also enjoy painting, listening to music, and playing video/board games."

G&N: "Do you have a degree?"
MV: "The closest I’ve gotten to getting a degree has been getting a certificate for professional makeup artistry."

G&N: "How long have you been drawn to this career path? What made you finally go for it?"
MV: "I’d say about 4 years and I’ve been working in the industry for 6 years. Financial insecurity was what finally pushed me to dive in."

G&N: "Are there any stigmas you’re facing?"
MV: "Yes. People seem to think that because I’m a sex worker and open about being one, I automatically want to be sexual with them right off the bat. My profession has absolutely nothing to do with my sexual attraction towards others and it’s humorous that people are dumb enough to think that."

G&N: "Who are some role models you’ve had as you’ve grown?"
MV: "Literally every strong woman ever. My mother and sister, especially."

G&N: "Is your work/life balance challenging?"
MV: "Not really! Everyone in my personal life knows what I do and they respect that, so I feel like I’m able to live and breathe more easily. My work has blended pretty well with my personal life over the past few years and I’m grateful to have that."

G&N: "Like I mentioned, I’ve been following you on Twitter and Instagram since you primarily focused on creating mesmerizing makeup looks. You’ve always given me such badass, girl power vibes. How do you view yourself? And has it changed as your interests have changed?"
MV: "I believe the bottom line of how I view myself has basically remained the same over my life, just now that I’m an adult and I know who I am it’s much more concrete. I view myself as a generous, artful, honest, and powerful smokeshow…most of the time."

G&N: "What are your ultimate goals and dreams?"
MV: "To give to my loved ones as much as I can, live how I really want and deserve to, and allow myself to stop and smell the roses along the way. I’d also love to have an amazing wardrobe and go whale watching at least once in my life."

G&N: "Do you plan to do more elaborate makeup looks in the future, again? Or are you taking life day by day and finding new interests?"
MV: "I think I will! But I don’t imagine it would be the main focus of my life again like how it was in the past."

G&N: "And finally, to wrap up the interview, what are some final messages (whether they be related or unrelated to your profession) that you’d want to share with everyone?"
MV: "Live your life however you want and don’t care so much about the opinions of people you don’t even know. Also invest in yourself, which definitely means buying that kind of pricey sex toy you’ve had your eye on. Get a little kinky and have fun!"

photo by Dom Kindler

I just want to give a huge shoutout to Miss Vampyr for collaborating with me in this interview. She's an amazing example of girl power and confidence, and she's an absolute icon. She's also smart and witty as hell.

I believe sex work should be taken seriously. As long as you're safe and comfortable with it, I don't think it's worthy of being looked down upon. And I'm happy Miss Vampyr found success in this field. Besides shaking the stigma, she also stays incredibly honest and real on social media. She's so refreshing and an absolute inspiration.

Please double check the fundraisers at the top of this post, and be safe out there, friends. And thanks again, Miss Vampyr for being you!

Keep on grinning!

Lydia

1 Comment

Sonny

10/4/2020 01:39:21 pm

Fun and interesting article/interview. Makes me think of rules and rule makers. Politicians. The religious heirarchy. Groupthinkers. The herd mentality. And those of us who might fall in line. Or not.
Of course there have to be laws and rules against predators, killers, and the like. But that isn't what you're talking about here. So as long as nobody is hurt, why can't the next person go his/her own way? i don't think I would like being tied up but then it would be interesting to talk with you, Lydia, after you experience an hour with a dominatrix. Always with respect of course. Admiration too!!

Hello friends!