5 Wellness Notions I Love

  2024 has been a strange little time for me. Not a bad time, per say, just extra transitional and introspective.

   Through all the soul searching, I've been taking notes about sentiments shared in my favorite podcasts, therapy sessions, and self care videos. So I'd like to share some of the sentiments that have really helped shape my perspective in these last few months, that maybe will feel refreshing and warm for you, also.

1. Speaking Out Loud

   This rolls a couple different ways. To clarify, this doesn't mean I'm having a full conversation with myself 24/7. This is more like, in the heat of an anxious moment, I just speak to myself. On one hand, starting to say my thoughts out loud has allowed me to hear my negative sentiments. I believe I first heard this concept on Cassia's podcast, 9Lives. It's hard to register how mean you are to yourself subconciously, on the daily. But when you start saying it out loud, it calls attention to how often you are your own bully.

   I alluded to bully brain in the last post. It's such a shit. It's when I'm overcome with negative thoughts, usually if I'm anxious. Instead of looking as things as they are, my brain makes up various scenarios and irrational what-ifs. When in reality, life isn't always so cruel. Sometimes it's my own anxiety that's cruel, and my brain is my bully.

   Sometimes I'll be driving home, and I'll reflect back onto a situation in which I made myself cringe. A lot of the words that start coming out of my mouth are things like, "So cringe, ugh, why did you do that, so stupid, whyyy??" When it gets like this, I have to combat these negative thoughts using the same method--speaking out loud. Even if I cut it off with a simple "NO," it's settled and I go about my day.

   On the other hand, I've also made a few affirmations for myself that I'll recite, just as I need them. These include things like, "I'm anxious, and that's okay," or something neat I heard from Cassia's podcast, which was along the lines of, "I am a snake, shedding its skin." Might sound controversial with the snake metaphor, but the concept of always transforming sticks with me. I'm adaptive. I've recently also started saying, "My self worth is my own." And that brings me to my next point: Understanding self esteem.
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2. Understanding Self Esteem

   This is something that absolutely wowed me when my therapist brought this to my attention. I mentioned feeling insecure in some areas of my life, feeling like I lack confidence sometimes. Which feels odd, because I was feeling so confident through all the tough things that occured last year. So why now? Why now do I feel so small? And like I said, it comes in random parts of my life.

   What she told me was that my self esteem is seemingly being ran by everyone around me. She asked me, "Do you think it's fair to base your self worth on how you think other people see you?"

   That stuck with me. If I was to base my self worth on how everyone saw me, for one, I'd be basing it on how I believe others view me. And we never really know how other people see us. And for two, my self worth would be different in every interaction I'd have through the day. Some people aren't going to like us, some are going to feel fine, some are going to adore us. But that could be rapidly different, person to person. So in the end, it's not helpful to base our worth on how we believe other people perceive us. It's about recognizing that we're human, we're doing our best.
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3. Recognizing What Comes from Childhood

   I was going through an anxious spurt through February and felt like I couldn't navigate my brain. I started seeking out videos to help me understand why I might be feeling out of control, anxious, and insecure about every action of mine. I ended up finding Heidi Priebe and Dr. Kim Sage videos on YouTube, and they've helped me grasp what I'm feeling a bit better, and it allowed me to speak about it clearer to my therapist.

    A lot of their videos I've seen speak about anxiety as an adult, rooted in childhood. Recognizing it, working through it, and coming out on the other side. It's a process. Simple sentiments like knowing it's okay (and even normal) to exist in conflict, not needing to be in survival mode all the time, and registering how anxiety physically feels in the body. I believe it was Dr. Kim Sage who mentioned the concept of childhood trauma living in your nervous system. It means it impacts who you are as an adult. You can turn it around for yourself and others, but it can appear in random ways. Just acknowledging that your story is your own, and that it's okay to be imperfect, is an important step in pulling yourself out of a negative headspace.

4. Bravery Comes in Steps

   This was such a cool episode of 9Lives. I felt as excited listening to this one as I did listening to her episode on willpower, which I wrote about in its own post. Cassia recently put out an episode on 9Lives about "How to Be Brave" [S2E12]. I highly recommend it. Her goal of this episode was to share how to start, and proceed, in your journey to making lasting change. I wrote down lots of notes for this episode because I love to geek about anything like this that helps me feel motivated.

​   Cassia mentioned steps in which you can be brave. Nice and palatable. One important part of being brave is to practice gratitude. Might sound silly, but I've been writing three things I'm grateful for every day for about 45 days now. It's a nice way to start the day, it helps build optimism, and it is one of those things that can help you build awareness of your possibly default negative thoughts. She also mentioned pre-planning multiple ways to get to your goal (for my anxious planners out there!) and even practicing visualizing. This can be a mood board, a journal entry, positive affirmations, etc. She even says to "find an affirmation that makes your heart sing".

   If the overthinking and overplanning is only making you feel more fearful, sometimes the strategy is to fling yourself into it. Jump into the pool without giving yourself time to psych yourself out, as long as your pool is something safe and healthy for you.

   And lastly, building confidence. Achieving small things, bit by bit, each day helps you slowly build your confidence in yourself. They can be simple, like waking up and going on a walk each morning, proving to yourself that you've done it yesterday, the day before, and the day before that, so you can definitely do it today. You're reassuring yourself in small ways, and it'll help you feel proud and celebrate your wins in a big way later on.
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5. It's Okay for Life to Be Disorderly

   I've been getting used to some lifestyle changes this year, and that includes my ever-changing schedule. It's not easy feeling out-of-routine as an anxious guy, I get it. But something that Cassia mentioned in a recent episode of 9Lives was that we're putting too much pressure on ourselves. "Accepting the mess and letting yourself thrive in it is sometimes the answer." Live has been hard enough as is, so it's okay to "play in the mud". We need to breathe, recognize we're human, and that sometimes we can't always follow a regimented schedule. Life will ebb and flow, and it's okay to roll with the punches.

​   I tend to bully myself if I sleep in and skip a gym session. But then I think about the rest of the week, how I can combine my sessions in a way that works for me, so I'm still able to achieve my goals. Bullying myself about it won't help. But reminding myself that I'm a snake who sheds its skin is how I'll keep adapting to this wild and beautiful life.

Thank you guys for reading. What are some wellness ideas that stick with you?

Keep on grinning!

Lydia